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Glossary of Terms

Almond (n.):

The oval nutlike seed (kernel) of the almond tree, used as food: Under the strategic nourishment of the Thompson Food Scheme, Ben Marcus’s diet consists entirely of almonds and milk.

Fainting tank (n.):

A large receptacle or storage chamber used to promote fainting in order to change one’s emotions. HOE (abbr. Having of emotions): An emotional response that is not encouraged in Ohio: readers looking to indulge in the having of emotions (HOE) should do so in their own time, in small bursts, preferably in a closed room, coughing often into an absorbent rag and wringing the rag down a drain.

Language diaper (n.):

A piece of toweling or other absorbent material wrapped around one’s bottom to absorb excess emotion.

Ludlow Plot Distribution Requirement Phase detection (n.):

A series of tests applied to works of fiction to track linear progression and “character” continuity in texts purporting to be fiction, of which only a small number of books actually are: NOTABLE AMERICAN WOMEN eludes the Ludlow Plot Distribution Requirement Phase detection.

Naming (n.):

The process of assigning a word or set of words by which a person, animal, place or thing is known. The naming process is particularly important to the emotional and physical health of women, many of whom have suffered greatly due to having names that do not sufficiently match their identities.

PBS
(Person blocking strategies):

Experiments designed to remove emotions from one’s heart: I was upset and I knew it was time to turn on PBS.

Silentists (n.):

A group of women who protest motion and sound.

Thompson Water (n.):

The only treated, strategic water used to forcibly
alter and promote specific behaviors.

Wind (n.):

1. The perceptible natural movement of the air, esp. in the form of a current of air blowing from a particular direction.

2. Breath as needed in physical exertion or in speech.

3. A word sometimes misspelled as an alias for aid: if “wind” is misspelled, for instance, as h-e-l-p, or I-t-h-u-r-t-s, then a storm can be expected, a hard sky, a short paralysis of rain.